it happens all the time |jean x reader|

It just wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to go into the Military Police with Marco and all of his other friends. He wasn’t supposed to let his best friend die, or fall in love with you. It frustrated him, because everything was supposed to go his way.

Only you, can make me feel like I do
But you don't know, 'cause it never shows through
Try to find things to say, to make you notice
But every word runs away, before they're spoken
I find myself, tied up in emotions

He was bitter, closed-off, caught up in his own flurry of emotions. But then, there was you, with your bright, (e/c) eyes, and warm smile that managed to make him melt every time it appeared. But was it really worth the risk of putting you in danger?

I step back
And I should've told you

*A year ago*

“It’s just a little crush, geez, Marco,” Jean muttered, his amber-gold eyes fixated on his plate of food.

The freckled boy chuckled and slung an arm around his comrade.

“You know, you should tell her…before something happens,” he whispered in a low voice.

“It’ll pass, it’s just a phase.” He said, waving his hand to dismiss the topic.

“Okay, buddy, whatever you say,” Marco replied with a small smile on his freckled face.

Jean glanced over at you across the room. Your head was tucked into the crease of your arms, your eyes half-lidded. It was obvious that the day’s training had worn you out. You looked absolutely adorable, oblivious to Sasha’s little food heists and Ymir’s pokes to your rosy cheeks.

Why couldn’t he tell you? You were his best friend besides Marco, and shared many great moments together. He was just too afraid of rejection.

Everytime you smile, there's sunshine,
There's something in your eyes, I can't deny.
Your gravity, keeps pulling me in,
It happens all the time

The burnt orange glowing embers of the bonfire reflected into Jean’s glossy eyes. He looked so vulnerable and unsure of himself. It scared you. There was no trace of pride and arrogance of his usual nature. As much as Marco’s death scarred you, you knew that it affected Jean the most.

Taking small steps, you approached the copper-haired soldier from behind. An unstable breath left your lips as you searched for the right words to say.

“I’m sorry,” was all you could muster.

The boy turned his head slightly, but just enough so that his chin was over his shoulder. He opened his mouth to form words, but nothing came out. He shut his eyes, which were welling up with water. He was….crying. Your heart sunk into your stomach like an anvil. It hurt you to see your friend in pain, and instinctively you slowly slipped your frail arms around him, burying your face into his chest.

“I’m here, Jean, and we will go through this together. You will not go into your shell and leave me to rot, because I won’t let you,” you said, muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Your own stream of tears fell down staining his shirt.

Still, no response came from him. You smiled weakly at him, but it was powerful enough to make him forget about the cruel reality of your lives for a moment.

Everytime you're standing near me
And everytime I hear you say my name
I get a rush, and all I see is you
It happens all the time

“Full fledged soldiers, hey?” you said quietly, as you jogged beside the lean soldier.

“Jean?” you gripped his arm tightly.

His heart skipped a beat upon hearing his name fall from your lips. He stared directly in your eyes. They were intimidating, angry, sad, powerful. You felt a shiver run through your body and blinked.

“I’m joining the Survey Corps,” he stated blandly.

You held back a laugh. He couldn't be serious. Was he out of his mind? He already proved himself in the last attack and placed sixth out of the district. You straightened your back and held your head high.

“I’m coming with you,” you replied with the same nonchalant tone.

“No, (f/n).” He said firmly.

“Yes, I told you that you’re not leaving me, and I sure as hell won’t leave you,” you spat, narrowing your eyes. You were determined and strong, and was a force to be reckoned with.

This was the girl that he cherished, cared for, and fell in love with. He couldn’t bear to lose you.

“I-“

“You don’t get a say in my choice, Jean. This is my decision, not yours.”

He tensed up, and grabbed the collar of your blouse.

“Listen here,” he growled. “I do care about you, and I won’t let you throw your life away like that!” You curled your fingers around his and your gaze softened.

“Isn’t that ironic? Jean, I’ll stay by your side even after we die. You can’t say or do anything that will change that.” You looked up at him with warm, caring eyes and his cheeks flushed a soft pink.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, (f/n).”

‘I love you, idiot’ was what you desperately wanted to say back.

“I better not save your ass on every expedition, okay?” you deadpanned.

He smirked, and for a moment, the flirtatious Jean Kirschtein was back.

“You wish.”

I'm losing sleep, living life in a daydream
I'm in a sweat, the way you're making my heart beat
Another day, another night
I'm keeping quiet
About the way I come alive
And I can fight it

Gazing mindlessly out the window of the carriage, you took a deep breath. It was the day. Your knee bounced up and down, and you kept gnawing at your lower lip. Jean took note of your fidgeting and placed a gentle hand on your thigh. Immediately, you stopped, and rested your head on his shoulder, pulling your knees to your chest.

“We’ve made it.” He said twirling a lock of your hair between his fingers.

You peered at his face and saw dark circles imprinted below his eyes.
“Nervous?” you guessed. He hummed in agreement. A little part of him tugged at his heart, urging him to speak the truth.

If you only knew.

I'm on fire
Will you ever feel it
I step back
And I should've told you

You fell asleep in his lap, but despite the lack of sleep, he couldn’t find a way to get some shut eye. The sun shone down on your delicate features, from your protruding cheekbones, to the soft line of your peach lips. There was no doubt that you were beautiful, he just couldn’t find the courage to tell you.

Everytime you smile, there's sunshine
There's something in your eyes, I can't deny
Your gravity, keeps pulling me in
It happens all the time

"(F/n)." Jean prodded you awake.

"Mmm." you murmured in response, still hazy from the nap.

"I-i need to tell you something important, so listen, alright?"

You opened your eyes and blinked wearily.

"Yes, Jean?" you replied, gazing into his sharp, determined eyes.

He bit his lip and took a small breath.

Everytime you're standing near me
And everytime I hear you say my name
I get a rush, and all I see is you
It happens all the time

"I want you to know that I would die for you." You started to protest but he just shook his head to silence you.

"And I know that you would never consent to that, but you need to know that I care enough about you to protect you with my life." Tears sprung to your eyes, and a small hiccup sounded from your mouth.

"Jean," you breathed.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you, (f/n). If you die, then I'll never forgive myself. Death would sound a lot more appealing then."

"No. Don't think about that. We'll live together when this is all over. We'll find a way to defeat the titans." You said, trying to convince yourself of your own words.

"And I promise to love you with my everything, Jean." He pulled you closer and sighed in relief.

"I love you, (f/n)," he repeated quietly.

You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck and murmured the three words back. The copper-haired soldier felt himself fall in love with you all over again hearing your soft voice say those words.

It happens all the time